Two Visits, Including Christmas

About three months ago, Nathan's mom dropped Nathan and my older son and I off at an indoor play place. It was nice to see the "boys"...can't believe one is now 21 yrs old, having a lot fun together. I love that Matt will get right in there and play with Nathan. I managed to get a couple of pictures of them together before the batteries in my camera died. After playing, Nathan's mom picked us up and she and the four of us went out for dinner. Nathan is a picky eater. For years he has loved a certain kind of soup, that they get at an ethnic restaurant. So, that's where we went for dinner. Matt and I tried food I have never tried before. It was a nice experience.

Dec 19, Matt and I went to visit Nathan and his family for our Christmas visit. Holy, crazy busy household given Nathan's sisters are now 2 and a half and he's almost 6. Remember I have an empty nest now with Matt off at college. For a short time, it just seemed like too much going on for me!

I gave Nathan two playdoh sets. The first one he opened, "Oh no, not again!" I asked him what was wrong? Apparently he already had that set. So much for having checked with his mom what to get him given I never know what he already has. She has forgotten this was the first set she got him. Oh well, he loved the second set and said, "oh wow, just want I wanted for Christmas. I love it! Thank you!" His sisters gifts were a hit with all three children. Nathan decided he wanted their gift too! He had to be reminded to share with his sisters nicely as these were the girl's gifts.

I received a number of gifts but two that will forever be very special to me. Nathan made me a Christmas card that he wrote and it includes two pics of all three kids with Santa and is signed, "Love Nathan" This is the first card he has made me, hasn't even signed cards in the past, so really very special. Secondly, videos from the year from his parents. I haven't had the time to watch them yet but am really looking forward to doing so. I particularly want to see the video of him playing hockey. It's his first year playing and his mom says he's really improved since the video was taken. But to even get a glimpse of this, will be special...I have a feeling it will make me cry.

We managed to get a pic of the 7 of us. We only have one other of all seven of us. Most often there is no one else around during our visits to take a pic that includes us all. So, I had to ask if we could get this pic before their nanny went home.

Apparently I Suck at Blogging

I know, I know. Although I am an open book and want to share, document and educate, there is a struggle as N's parents are not the open book I am. They are rather reserved. So I struggle with just how much to share so publically. We all know the adoption community is small. So I have spent a long time thinking about this and will try to walk that fine line of sharing but not sharing too much. Problem is, my too much and their too much are likely not even close. Hence the long absence.

I'll be back soon, promise.

Sneek Peek

Here is a tiny sneak peek until after the long weekend because Montreal, here I come, for the first time ever!

Excitement in the Air!

It's been a long time since I have blogged here but this blog shall not die! It's time to revive it. I can look back and see how much I have not documented and now I wish I had. It's important to document this open adoption journey and hopefully some day it will mean a lot to my son that I have documented our time together.

I am excited for Friday to get here. It will be only the second time ever, that I will be able to go out in the community with Nathan and enjoy a little one on one time with him. The first time was the week he turned four, (maybe it was three but I think it was four) when we enjoyed two hrs at McDonald's together. We had lunch there and I learned that like his older brother, my little sweetheart loves extra pickles on his hamburger. We then open birthday gifts and he was none to pleased to receive yet another book. "Not another book, I have a million books" *Sigh*. I haven't forgotten that one but I want him to share my love of books so I will continue to get him books. He perked up when I gave him a game for his Leapster. So this was our last outing together.

This time we are going to a park together. I imagine his mom will drop us off, like she had last time. I will be sure to have my camera along with me. After some time in the park, little guy's parents and siblings will join us and we will all go for ice cream at his favourite place. A one on one outing and ice cream? It's no wonder excitement is in the air!

Happy Birthday Precious Little Guy!

It's hard to believe that it's been almost four and a half years since I stood in a lawyer's office hugging Nathan's parents after first setting eyes on them. The exact day we met was November 2, 2003. Almost four months to the day later, March 5th, our little sweetheart was born. Has four years really already passed? It goes so quick! The days leading up to his birthday, I tend to be hyper alert, thinking about him and his family even more than I already do. March 5th is a day that I always think of "my little guy" from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY SWEET NATHAN! I love you.

Conflicting Emotions

It was one year ago today or tomorrow that we lost my stepdad. Noone was home with him so we are not sure when he died, can only guess based on what he was doing at the time. My stepdad was really my dad as he raised me from age four. He meant the world to me. Besides my elder son, dad was the only member of my family who supported my decision to place my baby for adoption. He was also the only one who supported openness and had a relationship with N. That makes his loss all the more difficult. Dad and my elder son, Matt, were the only two family members to whom I could openly talk about N and his family.

It's my birthson's fourth birthday on Wednesday. It was actually that day, one year ago that I found out that my dad was gone. As most birthmother's will attest, our birth child's birthday is an odd day emotionally. Adding to that the emotions of finding out that day that we had lost my dad, made it even more difficult. I find I am sad leading up to N's bday. Then the day of his birthday, I usually feel a weird mixture of being sad and yet so happy all in one. Makes for an emotional week. Friday I will actually be taking him out to lunch! I am still in shock at that one, as it's a first for us. His mom will be dropping us off at McDonald's and picking us up. We will enjoy the hamburgers or chicken nuggets or whatever it is that Nathan like's to eat at McDonald's and then have fun playing!

Sometimes it's Difficult

Sometimes being a birthmom is really difficult. Today was one of those tough emotional days. Thinking too much....

Adoption Connections - Canada Adoption Forum & Parent Registry

Just to clarify as I have had a number of people ask for clarification, the website I mentioned in my previous entry is called Adoption Connections not Adoption Connection. It is an adoption website based out of Canada. The site has an adoption forum, a parent registry where individuals considering adoption can locate adoptive parents, and consultation services that assist adoptive parents with writing an adoption profile. You may locate Adoption Connections at www.adoptionconnections.ca

Adoption Connections

I am very excited about my new venture. In October I became the new owner of a new canadian adoption website. The site is called Adoption Connections and can be found at www.adoptionconnections.ca. Although the site is based out of Ontario, Canada, visitors have come from a number of countries and are welcome to participate. Have questions about the adoption system in Canada? Want to share your story or find others in your situation to talk with? Join in the Adoption Connections forums. Whether you are an adoptive parent, hopeful adoptive parents, considering adoption for your child, a birth parent, an adoptee or any other member of an adoptive or birth family, there is someone else at Adoption Connections who has been where you are now. The Adoption Connections forums are a means of supporting others in the adoption community.

Adoption Connections offers a brand new forum and all members of the triad, as well as their extended families are welcome on the forums. Adoption Connections also offers a Parent Registry where couples can have their profile displayed so that potential birth families can easily find the family they are seeking.

Adoption Connections also offers consulting services on your profile. If you don't know where to start and would like a little guidance and direction, as well as feedback on your profile, I would be happy to assist you. There is a link on the site that explains this service.

Our sister site, www.adoptionprofiles.ca is an excellent site for those wishing assistance with giving their profile that extra zip. I have seen profiles that Charmaine has put together and they are beautiful and really capture the essence of each adoptive family. There is a link on Adoption Connections to Adoption Profiles.

We hope to see you at www.adoptionconnections.ca soon.

Funny Boy

I asked Paula what Nathan was going to be for Halloween. I got quite the chuckle from her reply. Here it is: "Nathan is going as Bob the Builder, however, he keeps telling people that he’s going as a gardener standing on a stick!" Where do kids get these things from? :)