I Hope He's Celebrating

May 16th would have been my dad's 60th birthday. I spent much of my day thinking about him. 60 is a big one. Sadly he didn't get to see it. Dad loved red roses. I bought a dozen and took them to his grave. As I purchased them, I was sad to think about how I never gave him flowers when he was alive. Buying flowers for a guy just isn't something I would think of. I have bought flowers several times for my mom but never for dad. Okay so I can't say "never" now. It made me sad that he wasn't here to see them and for me to see his smile. Someone had already been to the grave and left a half a dozen long stem red roses in dad's vase, likely my sister or my little brother. I imagined dad smelling those roses and seeing his smile as he would have been so happy to have received 18 red roses today. On the drive to the cemetery, my son Matthew and I talked about my dad and laughed at some great memories of him. As we stood at his grave Matt and I hugged while I cried on his shoulder. He was hugging me tight because he wans't wearing a coat and he was cold. I didn't care why he was hugging me tight and was just happy that he was. As we hugged we talked about dad/grandpa. I believe in heaven but since dad has died, I often wonder if he is really up there looking down on us. I often wonder what he's doing if there is an afterlife. I hope he's celebrating.